That's What Friends Are For
by Vaches
Summary: A young healer will do anything for his friend even though he's always the comforter after the pain. Now his love for her, is almost to painful to bear. One-Shot. Finished!


Disclaimer: Everything in Valdemar belongs to Misty. The song is by Louise (Elbow Beach) and is called, That's What Friends Are For. All credits go to him and Misty. 

A/N: This is my first song fic ever. Hope you enjoy it, criticism, compliments and reactions would be welcome. 

                                      That's What Friends are For

_I know that he hurt you_

_I know that he broke your heart in two_

_For while you were loving him _

_He was mistreating you like a fool_

          Rachel looked at me with tear marks on her face and I knew something was wrong. I walked towards her slowly, while she ran towards me and threw her arms around my waist. She buried her head on my shoulder, and I put my arms gently around her and rested my chin lightly on her shoulder, we fit together perfectly.

          "What's wrong Rachel?" She mumbled something into my shoulder. I lifted up her chin, I smiled, even when she was crying she was beautiful, with her long black hair and blue eyes. She was stunning. I tried to brush those thoughts away. This wasn't the time, this wasn't the place. I looked into Rachel's eyes and got lost in the frosty mist that was gathering there. 

          "He left me, Dylan. He left me."  I felt a stab of jealously, and then anger, but tried to clear my mind. Rachel started to sob. I wrapped my arms around her again and resisted the urge to play with her hair. She would hate me. She thought me a friend, but I wanted so much more then that. 

_I can't believe he's made you cry_

_I can't believe he's let you down once more_

_But honey you can count on me_

_Because that's what friends are for, yeah_

          "He left me." Her voice came out hollow and sad, and sobs racked her body. I pressed her body close against mine and rocked gently back and forth. Rachel pulled herself away and I let her. She didn't know my true feelings, and however much I wanted her too, it wasn't worth it. A friend was what she needed now, not a lover. 

          "Rachel?" Tearstained, yet beautiful, Rachel turned towards me slowly, her eyes questioning me. I was her best friend, yet I was also a boy. 

"When?" The stopped up tears started again, and I cradled her against me, awkward and unsure. 

_And I'll be there when the rain starts to fall_

_Yes I'll be there to comfort you though it all_

_And I'll be there_

_'Cos that's what friends are for_

          She pulled away again and I gently wiped the tears away from her face. She smiled at me, a painful smile that barely reached her face.

          "Thank you Dylan."

          I felt an ache tug on my heart as I felt the sadness welling up through my shields. I would do anything to take that pain away, even if I had to make it my own. In a way it was my own, although I didn't know how. 

          "I'll always be there for you." I whispered, drawing away as she regained her composure. 

_I'll take the stars out of the sky for you_

_Because that's what friends are for_

_I'll file my life if you ask me to_

_Because that's what friends are for_

          As I watched her walk away from me, I turned away quickly, afraid that the tears shinning in my eyes would show and she'd know something was wrong. I loved her so much, but I couldn't touch her.  Close, but yet she was off limits, and that was the way she wanted it to stay. 

          I let my eyes drift back towards where she was walking away. The tears spent and her face cherry red. She needed me, I could tell, but yet she didn't call. I turned away and raked my hands through my hair. Why wasn't I needed, why wasn't I loved in return? I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. 

_You know anything you need I'll get for you_

_Because that's what friends are for_

_All that we've been through_

_You can count on me to stand by you_

          She turned back, and looked over her shoulder, she saw me looking and gave a quite trembling smile, like the one she used to give after she accomplished a scary deed. Like that time when we were 8 and she climbed a tree, or when she healed her first animal.   It was all there, and it would always be there, but we weren't together very much anymore. We were growing apart. I couldn't take it much longer.

          She seemed unaware of the love I was pushing at her. She ignored my silent pleas to spend time with me. I was slowly dying, and with me, was my love for myself, for others, and for her.  

_I know what your thinking_

_But you mustn't let him back again_

_You've got to find another love_

_A love that wouldn't treat you that way_

          Weeks had gone past. She hadn't come to see me again, but I would wait. I could wait. She would need me again, and I knew that she would come to me, and I willed it in my heart to be soon. 

          I was a heart healer. I could tell that she needed help. But she was a healer as well, and she didn't want to accept any help. I swore silently under my breath. Rachel was agony stricken, and pain ridden, as a healer she should know that she needs to get help, for her patients as well as herself. She doesn't listen to her healer instincts. Aside from that I couldn't shield out her pain.

          I have seen her walking in the palace and the Collegiums, her head hunched over and her hair hiding her face. Every time she saw Michael, she'd burst into tears.  She needed to move on, but she couldn't. 

_One day you'll get over him_

_One day all the pain and the hurting _

_will stop, stop_

          "Dylan." My eyes snapped open and I looked at Rachel standing next to me, so blind of the love I was passing to her. So blind that every passing moment I thought of her, of helping her, of loving her.  

          "I saw him again, he was with another girl."

She was crying again and unconsciously I reached towards her but stopped myself. It wasn't my place, if she came to me as a healer. I could feel my body willing me towards her, but I stood in place.  She looked at me, and when I looked in her eyes her eyes seemed to melt my shields away. 

          Pain, agony, anguish, misery, guilt, and depression were thrown at me. I resisted the urge to fling up a shield, and stumbled, the emotions swinging around my head. She needed this, she needed to know what her emotions could do to people. She needed to learn to get over this boy.

          I shuddered down to my knees and felt tears stinging my eyes. The emotions were taking over my mind. 

          "Rachel." I cast a pleading arm towards her. "Shield." 

_But until then my friend_

_You can cry till the last teardrop_

_And I'll be there to wipe away your tears_

_Yes I'll be there, collect your shattered dreams_

_And I'll be there_

_I know what friendship means._

          I was going crazy, the grief was driving me mad. I knew I needed to through a shield up, but I resisted. Rachel needed this. She needed this and I was going to give it to her. 

          _:Rachel!:_ Unconsciously I let my mind voice speak for me.  I let all the love, and pain I was feeling right now into my voice, and my desire. 

          Instantly the shield went up, and she collapsed next to me, her face a torment of tears. 

          I sat up slowly, the agony of the emotions was slowly running out of my mind and I looked at Rachel sitting next to me. 

          "What happened to your shields?" I looked at her gently, caught between the friend and the healer. I hated the feeling. She looked at me, her pretty face a mask to the pain inside and winced.

          "Gone, gone like all the rest of my life." She looked bitter. I put my hand on hers, too weak to do anything else. 

          "Everything that's gone has the course to come back, I'll help, let me try." 

_I'll take the stars out of the sky for you_

_Because that's what friends are for_

_I'll file my life if you ask me to_

_Because that's what friends are for_

_You know anything you need I'll get for you_

_Because that's what friends are for_

_All that we've been through _

_You can count on me to stand by you._

          She looked at me and shook her head slowly. 

          "I'm a healer Dylan. You're my best friend. I can't go through that humiliation, not now, not ever."

          I felt hurt, she didn't trust me. She didn't want me. I was just a used up second for her other friends. She started to walk away.

          _:Rachel!: _Called after her. I showed her my love, my empathy, my willingness. She didn't look back. I clenched my fists together and closed my eyes tightly.

          "No." I whispered hoarsly. She was gone. 

_And when I think about all the bad stuff that he put you through_

_Why didn't you tell me that he was lying and cheating on you_

_Just promise me this time, this time_

_That you won't back down_

_Never come around _

_Don't wanna see you hurt no more_

_Cos that's what friends are for_

          She was avoiding me. For a month she'd been avoiding my gaze, and I could feel her pain shrinking, even as mine grew. I shook my head and tried to settle thoughts of strangling Bardic Trainee Michael her old boyfriend. If it wasn't for him, if it wasn't for him hurting Rachael, this never would have happened. 

I sank down back into a tree in the Companions field and let the bent up tears pour out of my eyes. What was I talking about? I had ruined it, not Michael. My fault, not his. I closed my eyes and pictured all the times I'd had with Rachel. It brought me to tears, laughter, and anguish as I put my mind into a vision of happier times. Times when Rachel and I had been together, times of the past. 

          I couldn't live with this anymore.  I was going to end it. Now. I looked at the knife in my hand and held it hesitantly on the edge of the skin. I closed my eyes and sliced into my wrist. Remembering too late the promise I'd made to Rachel. The promise that I'd always be there for her. 

_Because that's what friends are for_

_I don't deny, don't deny it_

_Because that's what friends are for_

_Cos that's what friends are _

_Oh yeah._

          A noise distracted me. I looked up slowly, not really caring if anybody saw me crying and bleeding, it was too late now anyway. I didn't care at all. I blinked, willing my eyes to clear and smiled sadly. It was Rachel, with one of her perfect timings. I hid my wrist from view.

          "What's wrong?" The gentleness in her voice surprised me, even though I'd heard it many times before, always on patients. I looked away from her and didn't see the tears glittering in her eyes as she looked at me, and felt my pain. 

          "Rachel, what do you feel for me?" My voice was hoarse, and cracking from the crying, but I didn't care. I wanted to know whether my friendship was worth anything to her.

          "Dylan... I-" Rachel's voice trailed off and I knew the answer before she finished it. I was a friend nothing more, nothing less. I walked away from her, feeling great sobs fill my chest, trying to force themselves to the surface.

          "If you need anything, just call." I wrenched my gaze away from her sweet, gentle face. It was time for me to leave. 

_I'll take the stars out of the sky for you_

_Because that's what friends are for_

_I'll file my life if you ask me to_

_Because that's what friends are for_

_You know anything you need I'll get for you_

_Because that what friends are for_

_All that we've been through_

_You can count on me to stand by you._

          "No! Dylan!" I didn't turn back; I didn't want sympathy, or untrue love. I wanted her love, her time, and her heart. I could hear her feet running up behind me, and steeled myself not to look in her direction.

          "Dylan look at me." I refused. I didn't want to see pity in a healer's eye. I was a healer. I could feel her hesitantly put her hand on my shoulder. The tables turned.

          _:Dylan, I love you.: _

          She turned me around, and I could see tears gliding down her cheeks, just as she could see mine. Immediately I put my arms around her, just as I always do when I see her in pain, forgetting the blood covering my hands. 

          "I'm sorry Dylan, I was so confused. I couldn't understand anything." Rachel turned herself around so that we were both standing in the same direction. I knew that somehow, I should be mad at her, but I couldn't, this embrace, it felt so right. I disengaged my arms from her. I looked her strait in the eye. I had made the wrong choice, I was going to die. 

          "It's too late Rachel." I felt sleepiness at the edge of my vision and I stumbled back. Sleepy, very sleepy. Even when the loss of blood was taking it's toll on my body I could feel the horror and shock vibrating from Rachel. 

"You didn't love me. You were avoiding me. I needed to end it. I needed to end the separation, and the pain." I heard her gasp at my words, then delve into my mind.

          :Dylan!: Tired, so tired. Just leave me alone I want to sleep.

          :Fight it Dylan, fight it. Do it for me." She grabbed my wrist and closed her eyes. I could sense the healing powers surrounding her. I could feel them sink into my arm. I was too weak from blood loss. I felt myself fading from consciousness.  

          _:Dylan don't leave me! DYLAN.: _ I was too tired, too dizzy, and everything went black. 

          *                  *                   *                  *                   *               *

          "Healer Dylan." The person walking towards me was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She smiled at me sadly even as I sobbed into her arms. Rachel had loved me. Now it was too late. 

          "You lifebond's back on Valdemar desperately trying to keep you alive. For the sake of friendship and love I give you a choice." She looked at my passionatively, with a sort of regret. "But be warned Healer, your life on Valdemar will not be easy, it will be hardship, not at all simple. Or, you can stay up here." 

 I looked behind her, and saw a place of love and beauty. A glow to my pain, and suffering. 

          "Will Rachel die?" I watched the woman carefully, but she was perfectly neutral. 

          "It is your choice, your future, I cannot make it for you." I stared at the shimmering city and took a hesitant step towards it then stopped, my promise to Rachel ringing through my mind. 

          "_I will always be there for you." _

          I turned around and looked at the expectant woman. She seemed to know what I chose and took my hand gently.

          "You way will be tough Healer Dylan, but may the Gods bless and guide you."

*                          *                       *                       *                      *            *

          "Dylan." I heard Rachels voice somewhere above me, and felt tears drop like rain onto my cheek. She thought I was dead. I cracked my eye open as far as I could and took in Rachel's face. I loved her so much.

          "I promised I would always be there for you." I managed a watery grin. "I intend to keep my promises." 

          "Rachel-"

          "Dylan-"

          We broke off smiling uncertainly as a trail of Healers and a Herald came bursting into view. I was glad to be alive, and glad to have kept my promise. 

_Oh yeah, ooh yeah_

_Oh yeah, ooh yeah._

3 Ravenwind


End file.
